Ill Feelings

It was the first time she had ever wished ill upon a person. It was a curious experience. It didn’t matter what a person had done to her she always wished them happiness, she believed that things happened for a reason, so why be malicious? She couldn’t deny it however, that when it happened for the first time she felt a surge of life through her veins, she felt alive. At that point she found it difficult to remember what she liked about the person in the first place. She felt used and betrayed. Everything they had shared meant nothing. It was another one to add to the growing pile of broken promises and hollow sentiments, she wondering if she really would be better off alone, keeping herself guarded, not letting anyone in. It was a shocking thought in her mind. The idea of closing herself off was something she had never considered. It went against her nature. She was fooling herself and only herself if she thought for one minute that she was over it. It was clear to everyone around her that she still had some serious issues that she wasn’t dealing with. She was damned, however, if she was going to let him win. She was just going through a bit of a rough patch. Things would pick up and she would be fabulous again. She had a good support network and for that she should be happy. She was mostly content it just felt as though something was missing. Only a huge part of her life but she get over it, she had to. She thought about what she would do if he wanted her back and she decided she would make it incredibly difficult for him, after all why should he get everything so easily.