Life of Pi - Yann Martell

This is not my best review ever, lesson learned here, as soon as I get the idea I should type it up. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless.



Imagine you are 16 years old and the only survivor of a sunken cargo ship. On your life boat there is a hyena, a zebra with a broken leg, a female orang-utan and a 450lb Bengal tiger. How do you think you would cope? This is exactly what happens to 16 year old Indian Boy Pi in the book Life of Pi by Yann Martell.
If I were ever to be caught in this situation or one similar I would want to have the survival guide and this novel with me. The story is a roller coaster of emotions. It is funny, heart warming; tear jerking, intense and incredibly easy to read due to short chapters. The story is unconventional in that it mixes reality with fiction and actually blurs the lines between the two. There is an author’s note at the start of the novel explaining how he came across the remarkable story of Pi. There are also notes at the end of the book from an actual interview that Pi participated in after the accident which is more than a little amusing. After reading Pi’s story and then the interview you come to realise how clever he was.
Life of Pi claims to make readers believe in God. That is a tall order and perhaps with some readers it will renew their faith in God, for me it simply made me stop and think about life and nature, which is good enough. The book is so rich in description, you can taste what Pi tastes, you can see and hear what he does and at points you can truly feel his anguish, at being the lone survivor stuck with a Bengal tiger, a known man eater. The story makes the reader believe that anything is possible for example the acidic, carnivorous, meerkat inhabited island that is paradise by daylight. Why can’t it exist? Just because you have not seen something does not mean that it is non existent. It does not make it impossible just highly improbable.
The story twists and turns in so many different directions. There are points where you can feel the hope rising not only in Pi but in yourself. Everything seems to be plain sailing for Pi and then as quickly as there is calm there is unfortunate stormy weather which devastates Pi and sends him to the brink of oblivion. While reading the audience finds themselves laughing at moments which would not be conventionally funny, for example the Bengal tiger is named Richard Parker. The reason for the naming is when tiger was first put into captivity there was actually a clerical error when the appropriate forms were being filled out. The person who captured the tiger at a waterhole in the Jungle was a man called Richard Parker who named the tiger Thirsty. It was a simple mix up but so it was that the tiger became known as Richard Parker. It is amusing to read the story of this mix up because it is true in modern day life. How many times has a female been labelled a male or you receive mail with your name on it but a completely different address or vice versa? To err is human to really mess up takes a computer.
You can feel yourself being drawn into Pi’s expressive, colourful and yet simple world. It is truly a page turner and an absolute joy to read. This is truly a book that deserves the awards that it has achieved. Yann Martell deserves every credit, his ability to draw the reader into the world of Pi and Richard Parker is uncanny and this is a novel that should be stocked on life boats as well as in the average reader’s collection. Life of Pi is a book that could be read over and over again and would still be amusing. It is a real feel good novel.

Poems

Here is some of my angry poetry and songs, they aren’t all that great but I wrote them when things were going array in my life. I hope you enjoy them. I apologise now for any bad language, I don’t mean to offend.

FOUR MONTHS
Bitter Sweet break-up
Darkness covering me
You will forget me
Four months alone
Four months of emptiness
Four months
You wont know who I am.

SHADOW
I'm just a silhouette in your head
You don't see my eyes
I mean nothing to you
I'm just a shadow in your mind
You see what you want to
You hear what you want to
I'll never be that thing you want
Forever just a shadow in your heart

Don't want to be your prize
Your little piece of meat
I'm not a game you won
I want you to see me
To feel what I feel

I'm not a shadow
Not an empty space
I have a pulse
I have a face

I'm just a silhouette in your head
You lie about your feelings
You no longer want me
I'm just a shadow in your mind
You touch cause you have to
You kiss cause you have to
I'm far from what you want
Forever just a shadow in your heart

I'm not your prize
Your little piece of meat
I'm not a game you won
I wanted you to see
To feel what I felt

I'm not a shadow
Not an empty space
I have a pulse
I have a face

I'm just a silhouette in your head
I'll find someone better
Someone who cares
I'm just a shadow in your mind
I'll leave cause I want to
I'll walk away cause I have to
No where near what you want
Forever just a shadow in your heart.

ISN'T IT NICE
Isn't it nice
Isn't it nice to know you’re wanted
Isn't it nice to know where you stand
It’s nice to know that they care
It’s nice to know they are there
First place,
Second place,
Third place
Where do I lie
Times have changed
You've got more to do
Go ahead
Things without me
You're forgetting who I am
Isn't it nice to know you’re wanted
Isn't it nice to know you’re second place.

POISON THEY LAID
You're not so good
You're not so real
Just another slut
Another fuckin whore
You don't hurt them
Its all just for fun
You're so deluded
They all regret
The Poison They Laid

TEAR STAINS
I'm so tired
Cleaning the tear stains
Left by you.
So many hours
So many days
Spent crying for you.
Good luck to you
And your new love
Hope all is well
So sick
So bored
There's no need anymore
It’s all gone
No more tears
No more pain
No more
I'm not over you
It will take some time
A few more hours
A couple more days
Maybe a month
I’ll be ok
Feel so empty
Feel so lost
That will pass
Time to move on
Will always love you
But I don't need you
I’m ok
I’ll smile
I’ll laugh
I’ll cry
I’ll scream
At the end of the day
It’s all just a feeling
No more games
No more fights
No more tear stains.

And finally this one….all of these poems/songs are totally random.

I'LL FORGET YOU
I have a broken heart
You have healed
Doesn’t matter anyway
I’ll forgot you someday
Have you ever felt so alone
Ever felt like your heart has collapsed
Feeling of emptiness
All over again
Feeling outcast
Oh well

Sports Event

Another article that was published in Cumbernauld News.


Around 800 children took part in a two-day sporting event at St Patrick’s Playing Fields, Kilsyth. The Active Schools Team – Jude Gilvear, Alastair Sinclair, Carrie McKenzie, Jane Kelly, Vicky Clark and David Molloy – organised the event for primary seven pupils from schools in Cumbernauld, Kilsyth and Chryston about to move on to secondary school.

The aim of the event was to promote continued physical activity and exercise as students move from primary school to secondary school. It also helped the children to take a step forward and get to know some of the people they might encounter in their first year. To encourage healthy lifestyle choices on the day and for the rest of their lives the Active Schools Team paired with Community Police, The Fire Service, NHS Lanarkshire, Health Promoting Schools, local schools and the staff working in local facilities, who all provided stalls for information.

Local groups, including the Tryst Handball Club, The North Lanarkshire Rams, Cumbernauld Cricket Club, the Kilsyth Baton Twirling Club, North Lanarkshire Council Football and Rugby Development and the Cumbernauld Hockey Club offered free coaching and support so that the participants had a wide and varied range of sports to take part in.

It wasn’t only the children who were encouraged to take part in the various activities. There was a VIP walk round for sporting adults like education officers, councillors and businesses.

The fun day and its massive success were made possible by help from local sponsors – Strathclyde Homes, I-Response, Central Garage and George Weightman & Co. The radio station L107 FM was also on board helping to keep children and adults alike entertained with music and games.

Talet show

This was an article that actually got published in the Cumbernauld News. I am sure I have more somewhere, but I only managed to find a couple of them before I moved.


A group of fifth year students from St Maurice’s High School, Cumbernauld put on a Christmas talent show as part of their Young Enterprise project.

They organised the sell out event to aid their company Impact Enterprise, formed under the Young Enterprise scheme a British charity that aims to enhance the business skills of young entrepreneurs. Local businesses provide business advisers, who give valuable information, to the Young Enterprise teams at participating schools. Graham Auld and Karen McCole from Her majesty’s Revenue and Customs were the advisers chosen for St Maurice’s.

Months of planning and organisation finally came together when pupils and teachers alike performed a wide range of acts under the scrutiny of ‘celebrity’ judges, Cathie Craigie, local MSP and Michael O’Neill, the director of education. The variety of performances ranged from duets, dance routines and gymnastic tricks. Prizes were given for the top three acts with Bad Day, a local band, taking first place for their performance of No Doubt’s Don’t Speak.

It wasn’t only the participants of the show that had the chance to win, the audience were treated to a raffle with a great selection of prizes. One lucky person won a free hairstyle after buying the winning show programme. Overall the night was a huge success for both performers and audience.

Music and emotions

I am particularly proud of this article. I could probably expand on it a little, but I am pleased with how it turned out. Enjoy.



It can pick you up when you are feeling down, it can sadden you and invoke memories. It can make you reflect on the life you lead whether good or bad. Some people have a profound love for it and others don’t bother with it or lack understanding of it. No matter how people feel about music, everyone has a favourite song for whatever reason. It can be anything from Abba to classical to rap to rock to any other genre out there, but everyone the world over has at least one song that they relate to. A song that reminds them of a lost love, or triggers happy thoughts, that one song that sends shivers up their spine, the song that they never tire of.
It is amazing how some people can listen to any genre of music and be taken away by the beat. They can pick any song out of the hundreds of genres and sub genres and just zone out with nothing more than the lyrics and the sound surrounding them. They can completely lose themselves within the song, using the music to become more in tune with their own thoughts and feelings. They may regard music as the key to opening their minds and getting trapped in the delicate, winding maze of thoughts that flows through them.
For some people the idea behind music is less complex. They like what they like because it allows them feel a small measure of pleasure or simply increases the urge to dance.
Regardless of how a person views music and songs, to be close minded and stubborn about your choice of music is to close yourself off to a world of wonder. The idea of liking only one artist or one genre of music out of the millions of choice available is maddening. A person’s choice of music says a lot about their personality. Those who are so stuck in their ways, which choose only one style of music, are the people who stomp and shout when someone doesn’t understand their mannerisms or speech. These are the people who are too afraid to see the world in its entirety. These are the people who would be just as happy to crawl back into the cave with a wooden club. Perhaps, a little cynical it’s true, but to criticise a person for having different taste in music, as so often happens in today’s society, is baffling. We are all human after all, with the ability to make choices so each to their own. Because something or someone is different or outside the norm does not make it a bad thing and does not mean that a person is any less valuable.
Music is a power unlike most others. It can sneak up on you and cause the hair on the back of your neck to stand on end; it can cover the body in goose bumps. Music can invoke whichever emotion it chooses, whether that is happiness, sadness, anger or love. It is the cause of many heated debates and discussions, it can conjure images in the minds and hearts of its listeners and above all it is a never ending source, one that along with cockroaches will survive a nuclear blast. Music will always be around in one form or another. As long as the human race can bang two sticks together, a rhythm can and will be created. The day the music dies will be a sad day for all, even those who claim not to listen to it.

Review of The Last Samurai Soundtrack

THE LAST SAMURAI SOUNDTRACK


Having fallen in love with the film and everything about it I felt that I should buy the soundtrack. That’s something you may notice, when I like something it usually turns into an obsession. So I added The Last Samurai soundtrack to my already full basket on Amazon. More money than sense me.

I was not in the slightest bit disappointed with this purchase, especially since I bought it for £8.50 plus postage and packaging which if I remember correctly made the grand total about £12. Fantastic! I thought to myself especially since it is a brand new copy. That’s cheaper than most CD’s you buy in music stores. I waited patiently for my new album and since it has arrived I can’t stop listening to it. If you read my review on the film you would have seen that I commented on how lovely the soundtrack was, how it just fitted perfectly with the film, well on hearing the soundtrack in more detail in the comfort of my own home I was well…stunned.
I’m not normally a fan of music without lyrics, but the lack of lyrics through this album just makes it so much more beautiful to listen to. There are 11 tracks on the album each one fades perfectly into the next. It is the kind of album you can play as background noise when your friends are visiting, but it is also brilliant to just relax to, especially if you are pampering yourself or can’t sleep. I’ve not yet fallen asleep to this album but it will not be difficult.

This soundtrack is composed by Hans Zimmer, who is responsible for the likes of the Lion King, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down and Pearl Harbour and many others. I was surprised to read about the number of soundtracks he has co-written, two of the biggest ones were The Ring and Hannibal. The man is a genius every piece of music he writes hits home, plays with the heart strings and The Last Samurai soundtrack is no exception to the rule.

Track one: A Way of Life (8.03)
Starts off the album on a slow, calm note. This is the first piece of real music you hear in the film itself, it is used to depict how the Samurai live and work. It is used to convey how different the Samurai way of life is to the westernised Japan that they fight against. The piece is so soft and gentle and when I listen to it I can see in my mind Tom Cruise playing the part of a lost Captain Algren trying so hard to fight off past demons from past battles, this piece emphasises the amazing guilt that the war torn Captain lives with. I can picture Tom Cruise training the Japanese troops and I can see the Samurai warriors preparing for battle. The first track for me makes an album. It sets the tone of what may follow. Throughout this track there is the soothing sound of flute and other woodwinds along with Hans Zimmer on the synthesizers. The orchestra plays perfectly. The piece is just over 8 minutes long and for about the last two minutes of it the pace picks up a little and the sound of the deep stringed instruments surrounds you. In the right mind set you could honestly believe that you were there watching the orchestra perform.


Track Two: Spectres in the Fog (4.07)
 This is a rather dark and quite eerie piece in my opinion. There are a lot of drum beats throughout the piece and Hans Zimmer’s synthesizers add depth to track. It is the piece of music that is played through the first battle scene of the film. Brilliantly placed if you ask me, as it emphasises how terrifying the Samurai warriors can be. The scene in the movie is also quite frightening. The scene is full of mist and fog and from out of the fog the Japanese army sees a gathering of dark shadows that are the Samurai. This piece is just fantastic as it makes the listener remember the film. And if the listener has not yet seen the film it forces them to imagine what kind of scene this piece would be played over. To me that is what makes a good piece of music, when it forces images into your head, when you can see the kind of emotion that is meant to be felt and that is exactly what this piece does.

Track Three: Taken (3.35).
This piece doesn’t really need any explanation as to where it features in the film as the title gives a very good idea. The piece starts off on a sad note. The aftermath of a battle, death and curiosity are what this piece conveys. There is the distinct sound of cellos and violins, along with a very quiet drum beat to begin with. Nearing the end of the song, the pace becomes louder and more dramatic, but not fast dramatic. The drums create power and then just stop. This is the one track that does not seem to fade as smoothly into the next track, but even so, the few seconds pause just adds to the mood of the song.

Track Four: A Hard Teacher (5.44).
After the very well placed pause from track three, this song starts of slow and moves smoothly, like a breeze through the willows. This is another piece that is full of the sounds of woodwind instruments, including some ethnic instruments. The tempo is similar to the previous tracks in that it starts off slow and then there is a gradual increase. As far as I remember this piece was played during the recovery of Captain Algren, which is actually quite an amusing couple of scenes…at this point the only word he knows in Japanese is Sak`e.

Track Five: To Know My Enemy (4.48).
This track carries on so brilliantly from track four, that on first listening to it you actually think it is the same song. This piece of music has quite a strong beat to it. Keyboards, drums, strings and woodwind all blend perfectly. The significance of the song is not so much in the actual music but more in the title and where it is placed in the film. During this piece of music Algren is wandering around the Samurai village watching everything they do and all the while he still seems troubled. Personally, I feel that the title of this piece says a lot about the characters situation. He is in turmoil, he is trying to figure out who his enemy is…is it the Samurai who are so honourable and peaceful, is it the army he was sent to train or is his greatest enemy none other than himself?

Track Six: Idyll’s End (6.40).
I am not entirely sure whereabouts this features in the movie; however it is a very moving and constantly changing piece. Begins slowly and moves into a moderate tempo working itself into the deep pulsing sounds of percussion and string working in harmony then slows back down about a half a minute before the end and then finally flows with such beauty into the next piece.

Track Seven: Safe Passage (4.56).
Instantly you know that this piece is going to be one of drama. It starts off with a few quiet drum beats and flows into keyboards and strings. The drums are played throughout the piece with a low almost silent beat with the volume of them gradually increasing. The piece is just under five minutes but it is so emotional and touching. Each time I have listened to it so far I have had to fight off a small lump in the back of my throat. I hate being a spoiler (I have explained where each piece is played throughout the film, so apologies if I’ve ruined it for you) but this piece is played when Algren has been granted a safe transfer back to the western side.

Track Eight: Ronin (1.53).
This is the shortest track on the album but yet somehow it doesn’t feel like it. This is a rather powerful track, as are the next three. It signifies fighting and death, but at the same time honour. They say eventually honour will lead you to the path of chaos and eventually it will kill you. This piece embodies this.

Track Nine: Red Warrior (3.56).
I love this piece of music. It is quite an uplifting track in the sense that it is not quite as slow and as mellow as the others. This piece is full of drama and it shows a unity between all of the Samurai. When the piece is played in the film you understand the title perfectly. Red Warrior, something from the past being brought to the present and that is all I am willing to say. The piece glorifies the ride to battle and how the Samurai must work closely with each other, if they wish to survive.

Track Ten: The Way of the Sword (7.59)
 This is another heart wrenching piece. Each time I have listened to it I just get blown away. The title kind of speaks for itself and it is quite clear what it is about. It is played in the battle scenes and although long it ties in just perfect with the next song. This is the piece of music I’m sure that caused me to cry like a baby as it was played over the scenes. It is just beautiful.


Finally Track Eleven: A Small Measure of Peace (7.59)
The last song on the album. I could not possibly describe the effect this track has on me, it’s profound. It is such a gentle piece. I am listening to it as I type and I am having to fight back the urge to just cry at the beauty. This piece helped create the perfect ending to the perfect film and it closes the soundtrack on a perfect note.

There are no words that can possibly describe this album and do it justice, so I will stick to saying it is perfect (how many times have I said that word). People forget the simple things in life, they are in too much of a rush, and they forget what a piece of music can do. This is something that we shouldn’t ever let go of because at the end of the day it’s not the extraordinary things that we will be remembered for, we will all each be remembered for the small things, the things that seem so trivial now. Nothing is trivial and listening to this album has actually made me appreciate everything I own and every person I meet. It has made me appreciate those precious moments of time we get where we don’t have to be in a hurry.
Now maybe I’ve just gone mad and maybe you will all think that I am talking a lot of nonsense, but that is how the album has made me feel and I hope that if any of you decide to purchase it, I hope that it touches you in the way that it touched me (or in a similar way at least).

Extra Info:
Score Composed, Arranged and Produced: Hans Zimmer (what a man)
Executive Music Producer: Edward Zwick
Executive Producer for WMG soundtracks: Danny Bramson
Orchestra conducted by Blake Neely
Original Score Published by Warner-Olive Music.
Thank you for reading, hope this helps.

Review of The Last Samurai movie

THE LAST SAMURAI
After having a fairly bad night on Saturday I got a phone call from my best friend asking me if I wanted to go out to the cinema on the Sunday. That was fine, the only problem was that neither of us knew what was actually showing, so we arrived at the cinema and went out on a limb and chose The Last Samurai.
Initially, because neither of us had really seen too much about the film we chose it because Tom Cruise starred in it and well we were both very pleased to have chosen this film as it was absolutely brilliant. In fact it left me totally dumbstruck.

The film stars Tom Cruise, as the troubled American soldier Captain Nathan Algren who is chosen to go to Japan and train their troops to stand against a Samurai rebellion. When Algren is captured by the supposedly ‘savage’ Samurai he begins to see and to understand their way of life. He sees that their lives are relatively simple and peaceful but he also begins to realise one thing. The Samurai life is one of honour. During his stay with the Samurai we see Algren battling with his drinking and his nightmares of past wars, we also see him slowly but surely adopting to their way of life. During his time there with the samurai he begins to learn the way of the sword. This is done beautifully in my opinion. It isn’t like other films where you see the character training for one scene and then in the next the character is a master. It is a gradual progression showing all the times Algren fails and the help he gets from everyone in the village. Gradually we see Algren go from a drunken American soldier to a calm swordsman. We also see how his relationships with people develop especially the relationships between Katsumoto, the rebellion leader and his sister Taka.

Captain Algren is taken in by Taka, her two sons and her nephew. This plays an important part throughout the film. We see Algren warming to Taka and vice versa. Initially Captain Algren is disliked by the family due to the fact that (going to spoil it now) he killed the husband. It was refreshing to see that Tom Cruise was playing in a role where he had to be recognised for his acting talent and not his brilliant good looks. The love that develops between Taka and Algren is always shown throughout the movie, but it is not like any other love story. I think in truth there was only one kiss between the two. We see Taka’s sons also warming to Algren.
The film actually has several different sub plots going on. It is cleverly done. We see the life that Algren leads while he is in the Samurai village, we see his development then we see the vast difference between that life and the Westernised and corrupt way of life that the emperor chooses to lead.

The one thing that struck me the most about this film was the very realistic nature of it. There was an absolutely minimum use of special effects so all of the scenes became very touching.
There are several epic scenes throughout the film especially the fight scenes. It was great to see swords and skill being used instead of the usual gun fights. What made the fight scenes even better was the lack of unnecessary gore. You didn’t need to see the gore to understand how brutal the fight scenes were. The film is about honour not about how much blood they can spill over the camera.

I do not want to say too much about the storyline and everything that happens in the film as I do not want to spoil it too much. The historical accuracy of this film astounded me. The one thing that sort of threw the historical feel was how well groomed Tom Cruise was throughout the film.
I absolutely adored this film and like I said previously it left me totally dumbstruck. It was a drama, it was historical, it was a love story and at the same time a good chunk of the film could have been put down as comedy. The funniest scene has got to have been Tom Cruise’s random fit of laughter when he meets with Omura and his companion. There are some very clever little quips throughout the film and the characters were just fabulous.

My particular favourites were Billy Connolly who played Zebulon Gant, the man who leads Algren in the right direction. Billy Connolly with an Irish accent is just great and he was rather amusing to watch. Also another favourite was Mr Graham, a British man who is very excitable and a little bit clueless, but he was a little breath of fresh air. I also really liked the three main characters being Tom Cruise as Captain Algren,
Katsumoto and Taka. They all complimented each very well. I found myself really liking Taka’s nephew again because he was very excitable through the film and very honourable. The cast were mostly Japanese and it just added to the authenticity of the film.

This film is one of those films that keeps you on the edge of your seat but yet it still touches you in a deep profound way, or at least it did with me. It kept me so on edge that I ended up biting off one of my longest nails. A warning to the girls, especially if you are anything like myself, it’s a tear jerker

The soundtrack by Hans Zimmer just adds to the sensation that is The Last Samurai, each piece of music compliments the film and its meaning. In fact I loved the soundtrack so much that I have just bought it.
This is by far the best film I have seen in a while and it is most definitely one of Tom Cruise’s best films. I personally don’t think he has made a film that good since, well, Interview with a Vampire. It is a must see I would recommend it to anyone. For choosing this film at random and for not knowing all that much about it, I was left speechless, which is odd for me.
It just blew me away it’s that simple.
Thanks for reading, I hope this was of some use.

Review of Fatherland - Robert Harris

FATHERLAND
About two years ago, in fact almost to the day, I was in Mexico with my mum and a film came on in the apartment. The name of this film was Fatherland and it was based on the Robert Harris novel. Now two years down the line I have finally read that very novel and well where to begin, what to say? I loved it.


So I guess I should explain what I enjoyed about it. The best place to start would of course be the beginning, the plot line. So here goes.

It's April 1964 and the whole of Germany is getting ready to celebrate Adolf Hitler's 75th birthday, the Furhertag, as you can probably guess the book is set as if the Germans had won the Second World War. Seems harmless enough but one day the body of an old man is found in a lake on the outskirts of Berlin and the main character Xavier March is the investigator for the case, however this is purely by chance or so you are lead to believe. A couple of days later the body of another man is found. March discovers that both of these men were government officials and starts to question their deaths. He believes that there is some sort of conspiracy going on...spoiler...and finds out later that there actually is.

March develops communication with an American journalist, Charlie Maguire, who actually discovered the body of the second man. Charlie and March are suspicious of each other but they are both aware that they must trust each other. She wants a story to take back to America and he wants to know the truth, a dangerous thing in 1964 Germany. Together they find out more and more disturbing information about how corrupt the government are and eventually find out what actually happens to all of the Jews who are "evacuated" to the east.

Charlie and March develop a relationship, but don't be put off by that. It is not your typical lovey dovey relationship. There is loved shared and a few heart warming moments but their conversations consist mostly of facts about dead government officials or they sit in deep silences. They are both aware of their need for each other. The plan is for the truth to be published so that the world will see that Germany is not the great and glorious nation it claims to be. Their plan is to show Germany for what it really is.
What disturbed me was how true to life the plot could actually be. At one point the book explains that, because Germany won the war, in all of the schools in the west, that's France, Spain, Britain, Italy and the likes, the second language is German. To think that if fate had played that card we actually would all be speaking German is a frightening thought.

Robert Harris has an amazing skill for description and although this book took me slightly over three weeks to read, despite it only being 383 pages long, each time I picked it up I didn't want to put it down, I just got so involved in the story and with the characters, particularly March. The way you actually feel sorry for March because his ex-wife hates him and so does his son Pili. March does nothing but work and eventually even that is destroyed because of his own natural curiosity and hatred for the German system.
Some of the parts that disturbed me the most because of the description were: when Pili tells March just how much he hates him, you can practically see the moment where March's heart breaks. Or when Robert Harris describes a visit by Martin Luther (German Foreign Minister) to Auschwitz Concentration Camp. He describes in vivid detail everything about the place, the brickwork, the smell, and the prisoners. It makes you feel like you are there seeing it for yourself. Particularly disturbing when he moves on to describe the gassing of the Jews, and about how they were tricked into believing they were getting cleaned. I actually jumped when Harris describes one man banging on the chamber door. Later on Harris describes fairly graphically how Globus, the main officer of the Gestapo breaks March's arm (spoiler moment) with a baseball bat. I cringed at the thought.

This book had a gripping storyline there was never a dull moment and it is quite frightening when you realise that a lot of the documents mentioned within the novel are authentic. It makes you think or at least it made me think. There is actually a note at the end of the novel from the author explaining that many of the names mentioned were real people and explains just how each of these people actually died. It also explains what documents were authentic. I found this quite interesting because I personally never realised any of the documentation was real.

What I liked about my copy of the book was how at the start of each chapter the first letter is very typically Nazi style; it is very Gothic, iron cross style. The book itself is split into seven parts, each part coincides with a day. The events in the book all take place within a week as the first body is found a week before Furhertag. How is this possible? For a start it’s fiction anything is possible in fiction and well through the book Zavi (March) works around the clock catching an hour or so sleep here and there. This is very effective because you see the importance of each day and can understand the development of facts and lies, particularly in the last part, the day of Hitler’s birthday. At the start of each part there is a quote from either Hitler or someone else, which sets the mood for the following chapters.

“Powerful and chilling…convincing in every detail.” Martha Gellham, Daily Telegraph.

Well I couldn’t agree more with that statement. This book grabbed me from the word go and each time I picked it up I didn’t want to put it down, despite my body’s protests. After reading this I can’t wait to read Enigma, which also got made into a move. I think I have found a new favourite author, along with Anne Rice, Stephen King, Christopher Pike and the authors of Red Dwarf Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to be caught entirely in fiction. I wouldn’t recommend to those who don’t want to think even a little. I personally found this to be an amazing book, thrilling, full of suspense, disturbing, thought provoking, touching at moments, dramatic…just brilliant. It’s been a while since I have been lost in a good book and I intend on doing it lots more now that Uni is done for the summer so expect more reviews.

EXTRA INFO
Cost £5.99 prob cheaper online
Movie based on it
First Published in UK 1992
Publisher: Arrow Books
Other novels: [fiction] Enigma and Archangel
[non fiction] Good and Faithful servant
Selling Hitler
The making of Neil Kinnock
Gotcha!
A higher form of Killing(with Jeremy Paxman)
I hope I never ruined it too much for you all.
Thanks a lot for reading
Vicky xx

Ill Feelings

It was the first time she had ever wished ill upon a person. It was a curious experience. It didn’t matter what a person had done to her she always wished them happiness, she believed that things happened for a reason, so why be malicious? She couldn’t deny it however, that when it happened for the first time she felt a surge of life through her veins, she felt alive. At that point she found it difficult to remember what she liked about the person in the first place. She felt used and betrayed. Everything they had shared meant nothing. It was another one to add to the growing pile of broken promises and hollow sentiments, she wondering if she really would be better off alone, keeping herself guarded, not letting anyone in. It was a shocking thought in her mind. The idea of closing herself off was something she had never considered. It went against her nature. She was fooling herself and only herself if she thought for one minute that she was over it. It was clear to everyone around her that she still had some serious issues that she wasn’t dealing with. She was damned, however, if she was going to let him win. She was just going through a bit of a rough patch. Things would pick up and she would be fabulous again. She had a good support network and for that she should be happy. She was mostly content it just felt as though something was missing. Only a huge part of her life but she get over it, she had to. She thought about what she would do if he wanted her back and she decided she would make it incredibly difficult for him, after all why should he get everything so easily.

Excuses!

She was the girl everybody wanted to be around, the girls who you could trust with your life. From the first moment you met her you were hooked of that’s what they told her. She never truly believed it. She knew that she had no problem socialising and making friends and she always wore here heart on her sleeve. She was an open book to anyone who cared to listen. She believed that the connection she had built with people would survive the years and weather whatever came her way. She always trusted people even id she had just met them for the first time. She took everyone at face value and loved people like she had never been hurt before. She spent most of her life surrounding herself with people she could relate to, laugh with, and cry with. People who she believed would stand by her regardless of her choices in life. She was happy in her circles and had a tendency to see the glass as half full. That’s why when she found herself wandering across oceans, like so many of her kin before her, she believed that her friendships would survive. They all said they would keep in touch and that she would never become that girl that they once knew. She believed with all her heart that their words were true and then the distance, the lies, the excuses started. It was something so small at first, a simple message, something she would have taken in good faith, but when it happened again, she realised the pattern. It started with the “oh my battery died” or “the internet is broken”. Then it turned into “I’ve been so busy, I meant to contact you sooner”. Days without contact turned into weeks and then into months and before long she had become that which she so feared, nothing more than a name in their minds that they struggled to put a face to. She always knew there would a small few who she would never hear from again, that was to be expected. But those who she held dear to her heart, after all the promises. Now they seemed like distant empty words. Words that gave her comfort as she boarded the plane. To see an excuse now appearing before her very eyes was like a steel bar, thrusting with great force through her chest and straight through her heart. It was as though the words were stealing her life source, but at the same time it angered her. What a fool she was for believing that she would not be replaced within a matter of weeks. The sad thing about her was that despite the betrayal she would continue to trust people explicitly. She never truly learned her lesson when she got burned. To her being bitter, cold, twisted and closed to love was to close yourself off from the joy contained in the world. To always be suspicious of people’s intentions to her meant to lead a lonely existence. She would mourn the broken promises, deal with her anguish and before long would pick herself up, dust herself off and be ready to form new friendships and relationships, full of love. Yes she may end up burning in the fire once again but she was always ready for the next installment. The next circle that she could lavish her affections on. She welcomed new love and heartache with a smile and open arms. For all that she loved unconditionally, whenever she arrived to the conclusions that those she loved had moved on, she like a wolf when crossed, would happily sever the bonds no matter how much it broke her heart. When she loved a person, it was with her entire being and when that person tired of her, she fought tooth and nail to stop the inevitable breakdown to the point of exhaustion and acceptance. When she eventually gave up the fight, it was always on her terms and it became a difficult task to regain her trust. Loving and trusting like she had never been hurt but there is only so much one person can take before the inevitable mental collapse and severing of those who become poisonous to her well being.

She!

She sat alone with her hollow thoughts. Darkness had set. She wasn't sure how long she had been there. A couple of hours, a few days, she never knew. She didn't understand. Silence all around her. She felt as if she had gone deaf. Everything was quiet.

People always told her she was a freak and that she thought too much. Maybe it was true she couldn't be certain. It had been a long time since she had felt so numb, so empty and so alone. She had forgotten how it felt to be screaming in a crowded room only to be ignored and unheard.

She had no reason to feel it. Until the one she loved turned their back on her. Until that day everything was fine. Then it all exploded in her face. It threw her to the lowest level. She thought she had recovered but she was only lying to herself and possibly everyone around her. Then her heart got broken. She had forgotten. He had been forgiven then a while after it finally hit her of how she had been betrayed. She began to build a wall, a barrier against reality. She didn't want to face the fact that her safe little bubble had been burst.

Lies! That's all it ever was. She was deceitful, lustful and full of double standards. The thing was she never even realised she was doing it. People told her that it was he who was at fault. She didn't believe it. It didn't matter what boundaries he pushed. She believed that she was always wrong and had to make it up to him.

She stopped thinking for a second. At least she stopped the sad thoughts. She remembered the start of it all. Happier times! She smiled as a lone tear rolled down her already stained cheek. The moment didn't last. She could never hold those good thoughts for long.

For a moment she thought she was ok. She believed that the promises were real. She knew now of the lie she lived and continues to live. It was all over.

Now she has finished building the wall. She is reluctant to let people in. She doesn't want them too close. Too much risk! She has shut herself out of the world and now she is dead.

Nature!

A rough, natural path covered with natures rocks. A path that was once surrounded by thick forestry and the sound of birds singing, the soft trickle of water from the nearby waterfall, thick green grass and the river itself making a sweet gurgle. Spring flowers woven through the high green grass. A peaceful and calm place no matter what the weather or the occasion, somewhere you could go just to relax, somewhere where nothing bad could ever touch you.
At least that is how she remembered it, how things change. A gentle breeze touched her cheeks and the sun was shining almost the way it used to. But as she sat in her usual place taking in the surroundings there was something missing. She looked around her, the place where she sat had not changed too much, it was still perfect in her mind, but like with everything else in her life there was a fault in her perfection. The place that she used to love and hold dear, the place where her and her friends would sit in the warmth and have picnics had been spoiled by the brutish hands of drunks, teenagers, and children and generally had been destroyed by her own kind, the hands of humans had yet again destroyed the beauty of nature. Many people would tell her she was over reacting but the place where she had sat for years was now a desolate barren wasteland. The natural path that she walked on so often was now missing the rocks and had been smoothed down to create an actual pavement, the trees that used to create a canopy above the path had all been torn down leaving the path open and cold. The ever friendly bird song had died along with the trickle of the water. The river was polluted with human waste, beer cans; food packaging and whatever could be thrown now lay in the once clear waters. The thick green grass was now crushed and browning.
This thought disturbed her as she sat trying to meditate. Why she asked herself would people want to destroy the nicest part of the town? Why would they want that little bit of loveliness to look like the rest of the town? Did they really want their home to be ugly and bleak?

A single tear rolled down her face as three young boys walked past her making all the noise they could with their glass bottles in hand. She just knew that once they drank the contents of those bottles, they would break the glass and leave it lying, or they would throw the bottles in the already disgusting water. She had come here to try and get rid of some negative energy only to have more forced into her pretty little frame. She let out a deep sigh at the dismal display of abuse that she saw surrounding her. How can human beings be so uncaring? It’s no wonder that Mother Nature gets angry sometimes. They ruin everything she gave to them, so she has every right to make them feel her wrath once in a while, with her great floods and tornados. More tears and a faint little smile, they deserve everything Mother Nature throws at them.

She stood to leave, she can no longer bear seeing what humans have done to her favourite place. As she walked slowly past the river, she can still feel the perfection that was once there, but she asked herself why she must have a constant battle within herself to keep perfection perfect. Why must everything she does have some sort of fault? She knew now that at least she had her own inner strength. She understood that although her place had been left to rot, it would always be there for her and if she held onto the memory of the place at least it would forever remain perfect to her. If she applied this to life then maybe, just maybe, things would seem better and she would regain her positive energy, she just had to avoid thinking about the faults. That was not to say that she wanted to pretend they were not there. To be able to avoid thinking about them she must first accept that they were there and just like her place, her life would remain perfect for as long as she wanted it to.

Picture

She was randomly staring at a picture. It says so much but yet so little. It suggests happiness or drunkenness but perhaps there is something hidden there. What it is may not be revealed. It may well stay hidden forever or perhaps it is not hidden, it just hides as it does not really have to reveal itself. Babbling, thinking, just sitting in thought, just in a dream. Feelings are so strong, stronger than first imagined, but yet they are not new to her. She has felt these feelings before but they were crushed and unimportant. Perhaps now it is different, perhaps it is not. Wanting him, knowing he wants her. Why do they hold back? It would work but for how long? Being driven crazy, she sets herself at ease. Knowing that one day the next step will take place, knowing fine well that right now she is not ready despite her feelings towards him. She hopes he understands. She wants to be one thing that makes him happy. She wants to understand and know him better. She simply wants him. She wants him to trust her, to want her, to hold her to just be there with her. She cannot stop the thoughts of them together; she cannot get him out of her mind. There are obstacles. It is just a matter of time however before they figure their way around these hurdles. She knows that no matter what the choice is, in the end he will always be there for her even if it is not how she would wish. She shouldn't wish she will only end up disappointed. She drifts into a dream. The dream as always involves him. She stares again at the picture and thinks of how happy she feels. She is happiest when in his arms. This used to apply to the lover before but something went array and she has yet to realise what exactly. She knows in her heart why it crumbled. She fears that it will happen again and will continue to happen. It’s over now. She moved on. There again another hurdle. The old lover wants her back. She is confused by that but knows it would be a ridiculous idea to back to him, matters would only get worse.

Unfaithful

Quietly their love exploded. He stood waiting for her. She saw him and the reaction was completely natural. There was no awkwardness, no pain, nothing but pure pleasure flowing between them. An embrace shared between two friends, there is nothing more natural. An over enthusiastic hug, alcohol and fun were the cause. They talked to each other. She spoke of her disappointment over a cancelled interview. He spoke of his excitement for the night ahead and of how much he had drank until that point. They were able to chat freely about whatever they pleased just the way they always had. Their friends walked ahead talking about how clear it was that they wanted each other. Passers by also noticed the desire shared between them. They did not realise that by behaving in such a way that it would eventually lead further. They did not understand just how intense their feelings were, not yet anyway. She linked her hand with his. They would understand soon enough.

The night continued. Everyone was dancing. Everyone was laughing. Everyone was drunk. The four friends went from one club to another and on the way to the second club photographs were taken, which would later hold more significance than imagined and which if seen would start rumours. The second club was more alive than the first, there were more people, and the music was louder. The two females got up to dance to anything that played. Laughing they knew that their dancing was not decent and they were attracting attention, especially from their partners of the night. They also laughed at how other girls were trying to out-do them. It wouldn't happen. These two were not only older but they were more experienced in the world of dirty dancing and were not afraid to show it.

Before the end of the night she pulled her friend aside to chat. She was having impure thoughts and wanted to act on them but as usual her conscience stopped her, almost dead in her tracks. This was where she began to be unfaithful and she would find out later that he too was thinking the same thoughts, despite going home with someone else. It started there officially. Lust, excitement and a little bit of danger! Her secret!

She thought at first that it could have been the drink, but she later realised that it was more than just drink. Heading home, a fight broke out and the only person she wanted to call was him. He had been through so much with her. He had always been there for her and her for him. They had shared so much together. From this one phone call she knew there was something between them, maybe not quite love, maybe just a crush or maybe nothing more than pure lust, total desire, but whatever it was it was something. In the short time that she knew him, things developed between them. A hidden love perhaps! They knew each other inside out, almost, they knew each others moods, and they understood each other. Some would say that it was too good to be true and that they were only fooling themselves by denying what they truly felt, perhaps this was the case. But to them whatever love they had for each other was simply the love of friendship. This misconception would change sooner than they cared to believe.

That night she barely slept. She was thinking about him and whatever work needed done for the next day. She was excited. She would see him soon.

The next day, although a little confusing wasn't terrible! The presentation although good, could've been better, but she didn't care. She wanted to go home to relax. There was something not quite right that day. There wasn't such a strong connection as there had been the night before. She started to believe that it was in fact the alcohol that made them behave the way they did.

She felt weak. She didn't know why. Was it the alcohol still in her system? Was it him? She was confused. Why was she having thoughts of being unfaithful? Why did she feel so feeble in the knees? Did he feel the same? She couldn't be sure, she wanted him even though deep down she knew it would be wrong.

Time passed. A couple of hours or a few days; she was still confused. Why was he on her mind so much? It's not like anything could happen. She was just being silly. She knew he was out of her reach; he was in a different league. She wanted him so much. It was just lust; she lied to herself, nothing more than a crush. She craved him. She needed his attention. Why? Two years is a long time to be with one person. So long that she wanted to be unfaithful? She didn’t think it would be so wrong. After all, she had been hurt more than her partner could possibly understand by confessing that he had been with someone else in the short time that they were together. Maybe this was poetic justice or maybe it was revenge. How could it be revenge? She had very strong feelings for her friend. If it was revenge it would be meaningless. Besides she hadn't done anything wrong apart from flirt. Nothing had happened. She was just thinking.

She knew she would see him properly after the exams were over. They had already arranged a day and night out. Would anything happen between them? Only time and fate would tell.

Her thoughts continued throughout the rest of the week. She had to keep a clear head. The last thing she needed was to fail. She knew within herself that she wouldn't fail, but for too long a little voice had been telling her that she was nothing, she was worthless, and she was a failure. Well the voice stopped now. She had had enough of it. Good things had been happening. She had no reason to complain. He was still there, making her relax, making her happy but weak. They had been flirting so much, over the phone, over text messages, over the internet, in person, anyway possible. Something would happen, she had decided. She would make that choice. She needed to. She only hoped that it wouldn't backfire. She hoped that he would respond and that whatever she did would not destroy a great friendship.

He had been thinking. Would it be worth telling her how he felt? Could anything ever happen between them? Or would he just have to view from afar. He couldn't get her out of his mind. Something else they had in common, but were unaware of. He too feared that by doing anything a friendship would be lost.

The exams had ended. Excitement builds. The clock ticks, it wouldn't be long now.

It was an average Sunday afternoon. Three friends walked in and out of shops, commenting about the bizarre weather. Remarks that didn't mean much, just friendly chatter! There was a certain tension in the air. The night had been planned, all was set. Would tonight result in anything? They both wanted it to.

So the day turned into evening. They had arranged to go to the cinema. What they were going to see didn't matter. They would be together. Friends would be there, but that would just add to the excitement and tension that had already built up between them. It was clear that they wanted each other, that they needed each other. It was beginning to drive them both mad. Especially her!

After the film, her friend showed up. She had been having a domestic with the flat mate, so couldn't be at the movies. Moving quickly the small group of five, headed to their designated transport, it was time to get drunk. This thought thrilled the friends. At the pub, after a few drinks, spirits were high and she had confessed just how much she felt for him. Enough talking, it was time to dance. As usual the two female friends got all the attention. They were after all very good at what they did.

Before anyone knew, it was time to move to the next club, which unfortunately for her was a long walk away. She figured the boots were maybe not the best choice. It didn't matter. She was with him, this was enough to sooth any pain she had. Hands entwined in each other. Their conversation engaged them both so intently. She could feel a tingle in her stomach. Something would happen tonight. She knew it.

The perfect moment! It was time to make her move. She knew that if she didn't do it now she wouldn't do it and would regret it. She moved towards him on the dance floor, lifted his head and kissed him. The reaction was perfect, the timing was spot on and the passion was incredible. All of a sudden a flood of different emotions swept over her, took her by surprise. It was amazing, she felt dizzy, euphoric, happy, at ease, calm, she felt charged. She felt as though bolts of electricity were going through her whole being. She felt sexy, naughty and dangerous. She knew now that she had a real secret and this just fuelled the passion. It wasn't a harsh kiss nor was it completely gentle. The intensity of it was overwhelming. Things could not have been more ideal. They had spent a great day together. And now they were standing in a room full of people, holding each other, kissing each other to her favourite song and neither one of them had the intention of letting go. A sudden clarity of thoughts and feelings came across them both. They knew that morally it was wrong but they both felt so right. They couldn't leave each other alone. They had been waiting since last October to do this and they were taking advantage of it. They wanted or needed more of each others touch. They were both on such a high. Everything clicked. The danger of it thrilled them the most. She was happy and for some reason suddenly felt as though she could conquer the world and whatever it had to say. Nothing could bring her down. She would be on a high for a long time to come. Even if it never happened again at least now she knew that something may have been, or could be in different circumstances. They both felt alive. They both knew that it happened for a reason. They both knew it would be hard to say goodnight. They were on fire. They wanted more, despite what people were saying. They knew that it would happen again and that it was what they wanted. They loved the excitement and knew that it was the right thing to do.

Fireworks!

An explosion of light in the sky and a slight jump from everyone in the crowd. It has begun. A young girl stands amongst the people, she is unhappy. It is not the cold air that makes her miserable nor the noise surrounding her; she is alone. She lives with her mother in a small suburban cottage and she has never known her father, he left when she was born. Her mother was supposed to be there with her, but they had an argument the day before and they were still not talking to one another. The sky lights up, but she only glances up once or twice, she is not drawn to them, and she feels emotionless. She continues to look distant. She is thinking about school. The torment she goes through every day, the temptation to end it all. A delicate smile crosses her face, a fond memory perhaps. The smile does not stay long, in the blink of an eye it disappears. She looks up to the sky and realises why the crowd are so fascinated with the display. They burst into clusters of brightly coloured stars; she is amazed, but only for a moment. As she looks away someone notices the tears are beginning to fall from her glittering green eyes. They want to approach her, the crowd keep moving, it is too late she is out of sight.

Someone who knows her, who knows her past searches for her, it is becoming impossible. Frantically he continues his search; still he fails to notice her. He knows he will be ridiculed for associating with her, but he does not care, all he wants is to find her. While he is scanning the area around him someone bumps into him, mutters a quick apology and hurries off away from him. To begin with he pays no attention, then he quickly realises that it was her; he would recognise that voice anywhere.

Alone she sits, away from the crowd, in a silent corner of the car park. It is now that she gazes in wonderment at the sky. She lies on her back, on the bonnet of an old abandoned car and watches the clusters of stars fall to the ground. The clear sky with the bright clouds of colour is hypnotic, she is unsure of her own existence. Again the thoughts of ending her torture enter her head. As she lies perfectly still a breeze picks up. It rustles her long red hair; she barely notices and continues to stare contentedly at the glowing colours all around her. Life had been terrible for her for as long as she can remember. Those in school tease her about her family history; they tell her she is worthless and that she will always be alone. She fights with her mother on a regular basis; she feels that her mother does not love her. Not a day goes past where she doesn't feel abandoned. The feeble smile returns for longer this time. It is not a memory that makes he smile so sweetly, it is love. Gazing at the falling stars, as she likes to call them, makes her feel at ease. A warm feeling goes through her body, one that she had felt for two years. Something told her she was being watched, but she ignored the feeling. The smile fades once more and she continues to admire the explosions of light above her.

She begins to relax and drift off, but something unnerves her once again. She is being watched. She slowly eases herself into a sitting position and scans the car park. She does not see or hear anyone or anything, but she has become unsettled, she cannot shake the feeling of unease. Maybe she is just imagining being watched, maybe she is not. She begins to feel panicked and it is noticeable. Her voice has left her; she cannot bring herself to ask if anyone is there. A single tear falls from those eyes once more and he appears out of the shadows. She is startled at first, but quickly regains herself. She recognises him. She recognises him well. He asks if he can join her, she agrees. Unsure of what to say to one another they sit in perfect silence, until she asks him how he knew she was there. He hesitates and replies "I just knew". She smiles that smile that made him fall for her in the first place. She knew this was it, the moment she had been waiting for. Maybe now she would not feel so alone, she hoped with all her heart. The smile stayed, their eyes met and they kissed a soft long lasting kiss. Exploding all around them was the grand finale of the display. They stopped, looked at each other and watched the fireworks die out.

What this is all about

This blog is going to be used as a sort of safe area for any stories, poems or articles that I write. It won't be a regular updater, just as often as I get a surge of creativeness.
If you like something or even don't like something that I write or have any questions about the pieces please do not hesitate to leave me a message, but please leave your name, I won't hold it against you if you dislike something. You have an opinion and you are entitled to it.
I'm not sure if any of this will ever come of anything but at least now I will not be wondering where all my articles etc are.
Hope you all enjoy what you see here and thanks in advance for taking the time to read this blog.

Vicky C